Epiphany moments. They are a peek into another, higher plane of existence. A sudden bursting lucidity that enraptures all of one's cognition. Epiphanies are the proverbial reality check writ large; a righteous back-hand that reforms the very foundations of what you thought you knew.

I'm here to deliver, nay proselytize an epiphany that only seared cow can offer. My co-author and I honed down a new kind of burger: the Cherizodilla. The progeny of weeks of back-and-forth machinations, a veritable Frankenstein of burger concepts. A finer burger ladies and gentleman, has never been consumed by this mouth.

Take one pound of 80/20 chuck, cut in 6 oz.'s fresh chorizo, form patties and chill. When you smell this miasma of beefy-porky umame, time will slow to a painstaking crawl.

Pull the disks 'o glory out 10 minutes later (293.7 years in I'm-hungry-and-want-mah-cheezburger-noaw time) and sear on the hottest piece of griddle, cast-iron, or grill pan you can find. Flip when the burger freely pulls away from the pan and wait until the center has a semi-firm feel when pressed.

SENOR!!! YOU'RE NOT DONE!!!???

But don't stop there. Slap some mexican melty-white cheese (like Chihuahua) on a tortilla, top with Chorizodilla, more cheese, avocado slices, caramelized onions and another tortilla. Treat from here on like a quesadilla. More cheese will ooze out the sides more than a BP oil rig.

I promise that when you put this in your mouth:

You will be tasting an epiphany. Even my griddle approved.